my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
