There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
this just has baby written all over it
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
