started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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