i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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