Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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