Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
