Operation Purity has been aborted
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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