Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
