Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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