I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
