Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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