we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
