Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
