U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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