I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
