im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
