paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
