ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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