I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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