I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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