hell yes lets make some ravioli
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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