Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
