So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
