literally had 100 drinks last night.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
