We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
