Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Mom said you looked used
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
tell me about the eggs
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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