This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
