JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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