If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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