I feel like abortions should bother me more
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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