He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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