We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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