I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I supernannyed him into submission
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
