I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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