Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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