he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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