What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize