Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
