Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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