My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
