So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
