it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
