No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You can't motorboat a personality
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize