woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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