When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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