My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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