she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize