On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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