yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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