Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize