the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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