well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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