He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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