What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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