I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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