But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize