Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
