i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
as a side note pls kill me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
