we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You left your phone here
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