is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
