Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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