Who did Billy Mays play for?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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