I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
