we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
