So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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